In agrarian economies, household gender roles and demographic structure influence how families respond to climate shocks, affecting investment decisions, risk-spreading strategies, and all choices of adaptation options and adaptive capacity investments. Here we show that differential adaptive capacities, as a set of capabilities as well as assets, are distributed unevenly by gender leading to divergent choices between adaptation options in places and communities at risk. We demonstrate how gendered adaptive capacities impacts household in-situ adaptation and migration as adaptation to climate shocks. We use data from surveys of adults within rural households across localities in Mali, Ghana, Kenya and Ethiopia in 2022 and 2023 (6656 respondents from 3328 households) and employ negative binomial regression analysis to investigate how gendered adaptive capacity impacts household adaptation to climate shocks. Results indicate that adaptive capacity significantly enhances household adaptation, with a pronounced gender gap observed across most capacity domains. This disparity limits household’s ability to respond effectively to climate shocks and poses a critical challenge for inclusive adaptation planning. Mobility also emerges as a critical strategy for increasing in-situ adaptation uptake. The findings imply that policies will be more effective if they address gender-specific challenges and support both migrants and immobile rural populations equitably. Recognising women’s roles in managing remittances and livelihoods is crucial for resilience, highlighting the importance of integrating a gender perspective into adaptation policies. This includes gender-equal access to education, professional organisations, legal protection, and the empowerment of women in adaptation initiatives.